Lesbian 101: Managing a Long Distance Relationship

One of the biggest lesbian stereotypes is that we always get into long distance relationships. To be fair, we have a much smaller dating pool so long distance relationships are a lot more likely.

In September, my and my girlfriend Abbie will have been together for a year. However, we have spent four months apart. When we met Abbie was living in student accommodation in Manchester quite close to where I live, so we were regularly going on dates and I stayed over quite regularly. Abbie moved out of her student accommodation in March when the country went into lockdown, so since then we've been doing the long distance thing. At first, it was so difficult and I thought we would struggle as I'd been so used to seeing each other all the time and practically living together. Over the last four months, though, we have managed to maintain a happy and healthy relationship without seeing each other in the flesh.

- Remember that it's not forever
Think about the future. You won't be apart forever so look forward to when you can spend time together. If you're both isolating separately, remember that restrictions will soon be lifted and hopefully soon this pandemic will be over. At the start of lockdown, Abbie said to me, 'this isn't the end, it's just the beginning.' Ridiculously cheesy, but its true.

- Have a plan to see each other
I'm planning to get the train to Sheffield to see Abbie in a few weeks, which is always something to look forward to when I'm missing her.

- Check in with each other every day
You don't have to be in constant contact, but it's good to check in with each other at least once a day. I often work long hours and Abbie has football training several hours a week so we can't always have long conversation, however just checking how you partner is can go a long way.

- Zoom is your best friend
Sounds very obvious but it always cheers me up to see Abbie's face when we video chat. It gives me butterflies just as much as seeing her in real life (Aww)

What You Should Know About Sexuality | Sexuality Series

Hi babes, welcome back to The Fashion Femme, Welcome to a new series on this blog, #SexualitySeries! In this series I will be discussing topics such as LGBTQ issues, coming out, online dating, relationships, orgasms, toys, safe sex and contraception and more. I really wanted to write a really inclusive series on this blog talking about taboo but important topics. This is based on my own experiences and opinions and also a lot of research I've done. I'm so excited for this series! So to start off,  here is everything you should know about sexuality...

- How someone dresses doesn't define their sexuality.
Obviously this is the whole title of this blog, there are plenty of femme lesbians/queer and bi women, and absolutely everything in between. And of course, straight women can rock the fuck out of a suit, (let's seriously talk about Scarlett Johansson in a suit.) So it is important to remember to express yourself however you want, the world is full of so many diverse types of people. Don't ever think that you're not queer enough because you're feminine.

- Labels aren't always important
I think this is a lot easier said than done, a lot of people, both gay and straight, say labels aren't important, but don't really practice what they preach. Personally, I've kind of given up labelling myself, although I'm attracted to women like 85% of the time, I've had crushes on all genders and think I could fall for anyone. If you find labels such as 'Gay' 'Straight' 'Bisexual' and even 'Pansexual' restricting, you really don't need to use any of them! Just be you, you are amazing.

- Sexuality is SO fluid

This isn't the case for everyone, of course there people who are exclusively hetrosexual and exclusively homosexual, however! For many people, things can change. 

- Girls can hurt you just as much as boys, and domestic violence can affect anyone
Ever seen that post, 'if your boyfriend doesn't treat you right, there's a gay girl that will?' Well that is seriously untrue. Queer women definitely can experience hurt and abuse and it's important to not erase that. According to charity Stonewall, one in four lesbian and bi women have experienced domestic violence in a relationship or by a family member, this rises to almost half (49%) or gay and bi men. You should definitely be aware of the fact that girls can play you about, girls can be fuckboys, girls can break your heart.

- Gender and Sexuality are two different things.

So there's a lot of people that don't really understand. So if someone is a transgender woman, they are a woman, plain and simple. So they may be straight, gay, bisexual, or anything in between, not necessarily attracted to women just because they are trans. If cisgender* men and women can be attracted can be either men or women or both, it's the same for trans and non-binary people. Cause that's just how it is.

- Go to pride, it's an amazing experience.

As you tell by reading this blog, I may be a little bit excited for pride. Just a little bit, I think. If you've never experienced Pride, it's like gay disneyland/ gay christmas/ all my personal christmases come at once. Especially in a big city. In the parades, you see so many different types of people celebrating who they are. Honestly makes me a bit emotional, but I am a big flannel and you're probably not as bad as me. I disagree with people saying it's just a political protest, it's also a big party that brings the community and beyond together. There's nothing wrong with that. Who doesn't love drinking dark fruits at 3pm and dancing to Abba? Not many people, is my answer to that.

*Cisgender= Someone who identifies with their gender at birth. So, the opposite of transgender.

Hope you enjoyed the start of this series. Please let me know what you thought and if you have any ideas of topics you'd like me to cover! This blog is my little child and I love to watch it grow.