Realistic and Achievable Goals For 2021

Planner from Papier

Hi everyone, Happy New Year! So 2020 hasn't exactly gone to plan however it's a new year and the perfect time for a fresh start. I've decided to set a few realistic goals that I want to achieve by the end of the year. I'm determined to be in a much better place in a year's time. Now's the time to start working towards my goals.

- Grow my Etsy store

One positive that has come out of this year is I have finally invested in a sewing machine, bought a lot of material and made some things that I was quite proud of, so I decided to start selling them. In the next three months I'm planning to add a variety of other things to my shop and promote it. I want it to eventually be my full time job but I feel this is quite unrealistic at the moment. However, by the end of year I want to be a lot closer.

- Do some volunteering

With a bit of spare time due to lockdown, this is the perfect time to volunteer some of my time to a cause I care about. I've already made some progress with this as I have applied to a volunteer marshal at a COVID-19 vaccination site, so I really hope I'll be able to do that!

- Actually use my planner

In the past I've been quite unorganised and chaotic and I'm very guilty of being the sort of person to buy a shiny pretty diary on the 1st of January and have it unused, gathering dust by around March. I want this to be the year I actually write stuff down every day, write to do lists and tick everything off, and track my goals.

- Blog when I can 

This was on my goals post last year and although I have blogged more, I have not made as much progress as I would have liked to have done. This year I want to plan posts in advance, learn a bit more about SEO and Pinterest but mostly, try and enjoy it. 

- Work in Ibiza

Okay, okay, I said realistic and achievable and this isn't really either of those things with the current situation. However for a long time I've said I want to do a season in Ibiza and hopefully and things get better this could become a reality, if not then definitely will be going next year!

Have you made any goals for the next year?

My Coming Out Story + Advice

Sunday was National coming out day, which got me thinking about my own coming out story, and how there are many LGBT+ people out there who have not come out and are not sure how to tell people, or are just coming to terms with their identity. On my blog and on Twitter, I am very open about being a gay woman and talk honestly about my experiences. However, as a teenager, I struggled with my sexuality and felt that I couldn't talk about it due to fear of being judged. I did have a fairly positive experience with coming out, and it could be the same for you.

I would like to start by saying that you are not alone and there is nothing wrong with being unsure of who you are, whether it's gender or sexuality. 

How I magically realised I was a lesbian:

When I was 11, I started an all girls secondary school and straight away, I had a crush on a girl for the first time. I remember feeling quite scared- I had just started a new school where I didn't know most people and I was terrified of what people would think. I didn't want to be considered different as I'd been bullied in primary school. What did this mean? Did this mean I was a lesbian? I'd only ever heard that word thrown around in a negative context before, like it was something really bad or embarrassing. However, I knew I'd never looked at a boy the way I looked at this girl. I wanted to be around her all the time and thought she was lovely and funny. 

Throughout the rest of high school I didn't tell anyone about my feelings, but they were always in the background of my mind. In this heteronormative environment (where people assume you are straight.) I honestly believed my attraction to girls was a phase. Out of school I sometimes kissed boys, and had my first kiss with a girl at 15. I just played it off saying that girls could kiss girls and be straight, but deep down, I knew I really, really liked it. 

I had no role models who were LGBT, there was very little LGBT representation in the media at the time. (I say this like it was years ago, it was literally 2013 ha) I also didn't know any openly gay feminine women. It sounds pretty stupid now, because obviously how you dress and present yourself has no correlation to sexuality, but at the time, I never saw myself represented. 

Fast forward to 17 and after a failed relationship with a boy, I started watching a lot of gay youtubers and consuming a lot of LGBT media. That year the beauty vlogger Ingrid Nilsen posted her coming out video. Seeing someone who was proudly a lesbian and had an interest in fashion and beauty was great representation and make me think about my own identity. Like something clicked in my brain that said, "it's okay to like girls. You could be gay."

At 18, I decided to come out to my Grandma as gay. I knew she would be accepting as one of her sons is gay. I then came out to my mum and dad and a few weeks later started university, where I decided I was going to be fully and completely myself with everyone I met. Most people were very accepting and lovely, however a few others seemed shocked and went completely quiet. Eventually, I did find my tribe, I joined the women's football team at university (very stereotypical I know) but this where I met a lovely group of friends I could be myself around, and no one batted an eyelid if you were dating or girl or a boy. That was amazing for me. 

At 21 I had my first proper girlfriend, and in the last couple of years I have felt completely comfortable with who I am. 

My advice:

- Try coming out to just one person you know will be accepting

Like I did, you don't have to jump in at the deep end and tell literally everyone you know, you can just start with one person who you know will have a positive reaction. Maybe you have an aunt or a cousin who is gay, or a friend who you know has been to Pride. Or someone online (like me!) this can build up your confidence. 

- Only come out when you are 100% safe and ready.

A lot of people preach that everyone who is LGBT should just come out and be themselves, but the reality is it's not that simple for some people. You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable. I would love to live in a world where coming out and sexuality is no big deal and people just tell the people in their life who they are dating. If you're not out yet, for whatever reason, it's okay. 

- You will always find people who will accept you and love you

If the absolute worse case scenario happens and your family and friends do have an issue with your sexuality or gender identity, you will meet your chosen family. 

Hope you enjoyed this post and it helped you in some way or changed your viewpoint. If you want someone to talk to my DM's on Twitter are always open (@melissajordank) otherwise I have linked some organisations who may be able to help.

Support:

https://www.stonewall.org.uk/help-and-advice

https://lgbt.foundation/how-we-can-help-you

https://lgbt.foundation/comingout

https://switchboard.lgbt/

Creative Activities To Try During Lockdown

Recently I've got a sewing machine and I've got back into making clothes and I'm really enjoying it. I studied Fashion at college although until recently I haven't been on a sewing machine for nearly 4 years and I've really missed it. I just love to make beautiful things. 

It looks like COVID restrictions are going to be around for a while longer and we may be heading for a second lockdown. Here in Greater Manchester we've been on local lockdown for some time. However, that doesn't mean the rest of the year is cancelled. Being creative is a great way to improve your mental health. I struggle with anxiety and I find that doing a creative project is great for calming down my anxiety, because all my energy is focused on doing that project and it can really take my find off things. 

If you don't know where to start, I would really recommend checking out Pinterest. Pinterest is full of DIY projects and cool ideas. And YouTube is great if you're trying to learn a new skill.

This is also a great time to get back to blogging. If you don't have a blog, why not start one?

Here's some great creative activities to try:

- Write a blog post

- Sew a skirt

- Learn pattern cutting

- Do some drawing

- Do some hand embroidery

- Try digital drawing. 

- Practice fashion illustration

- Go outside and take some pictures

- Practice a new makeup look

- Work on your Pinterest boards

- Start a scrapbook

- Create pins for Pinterest

- Edit some photos

- Customise an edit of clothing

- Learn how to knit

- Make some Christmas cards (it will be here before you know it!)

- Make a vision board

- Make some graphics for your blog

- Build a house in The Sims

- Tie Dye a t-shirt

- Redesign blog theme

 Is there anything else you would add to the list?

Revolution Ultra Blush Sugar and Spice Review

I'm 22 and I've just started wearing blusher. Is that weird? I think I was scared of using it in the past because I didn't want to look bright pink. I've managed to find the right balance now, and realised that it can actually look really cute and can add the finishing touches to a makeup look. 

Revolution are a brand I've bought from a few years, their products are normally very high quality and excellent value. I find a lot of their makeup to be higher quality than some high end brands. Previously I have bought a lot of their eyeshadow palettes and loved them.

There is a really nice variety of shades, from natural nudes to cute peach and stand out shimmery lilac and pink shades. 

SWATCHES

They are all gorgeous colours and highly pigmented. By far the stand out shade is the lilac one, the colour is beautiful and it is also quite unique. The shades can also be mixed together very well. However, some of them are a little too dark and bold for me to wear regularly. 

FINAL VERDICT

I think this is a great palette, I absolutely love most of the shades apart from a few which are a bit too dark. Will definitely be using regularly, and is a great price at £6.00.

Have you ever used this palette? What other products are you loving at the moment?

5 Beauty Essentials For August

This year I've really decluttered my makeup collection and only really kept the products I use on a regular basis and that I really love. During lockdown I've worn way less makeup, and my skin has thanked my for it. I've also started trying to stick to skincare routine. I'm never going to be an MUA, but I can just about put makeup on my own face and I've really learnt what products work for me.
So, here's what products I recommend for August...

NYX worth the hype mascara

This has been my go to mascara for quite a while. If you want a lengthening mascara that gives you luscious long lashes this is amazing. With a couple of coats it looks almost as good as false lashes! It also makes your lashes look beautifully natural and isn't gloopy at all.

NYX white eyeshadow base

If you want your eyeshadow look to stay put all day and all night, I couldn't recommend this enough. This also helps the colour of the eyeshadow to stand out. This is a must product, I can't apply eyeshadow without it now.

Revolution matte base foundation

During lockdown, I realised I don't actually need to wear foundation every day. However when I do wear it, this is my go to. This foundation also comes in a huge range of inclusive shades to suit every skin tone. This provides amazing coverage and is a bargain at just £5!

Simple triple protect moisturiser SPF 30

We've had a lot of warm weather at the moment so I was looking for an SPF moisturiser to protect my skin whilst working all the day in the sun. My skin can get quite dry from time to time so this gives it some much needed moisturiser. This is also a great product for sensitive skin, I personally find that some face moisturisers are to heavy and harsh on my skin.

NYX micro brow pencil

Beauty salons have been closed most of the year due to lockdown, and in that time I have established that I am absolutely terrible at doing my own eyebrows. Horrendous. I'm always very nervous about using product on my eyebrows as I'm worried it will go terribly wrong. However, this product isn't too dark and always really tops of my makeup looks.

And my makeup bag...

Disney X Skinnydip Thumper makeup bag - £15.00

What beauty products are you loving at the moment? Let me know in the comments below!

SkinnyDip London Wishlist August 2020

During lockdown I have saved so much money, mostly from not buying clothes! This time has made me realise I don't need to buy so much stuff I don't really need. However, as I'm venturing out of the house a bit more now, I do want some new clothes to wear.

SkinnyDip is such a cute brand, I own so many items from there, in fact I have a post up on my blog of my SkinnyDip bag collection, and it's already grown since I posted it! I have to have some self control on there website because otherwise I'd be skint from everything on there. 

- Disney X SkinnyDip Marie Jumper

Marie is one of my favourite Disney characters and this jumper would be great for wearing on a cooler summer day (it's not exactly a heatwave in the UK.) It would also transition into Autumn/Winter nicely. 

- Disney X SkinnyDip Thumper Makeup Bag

With not leaving the house much in lockdown I've got used to not wearing much lockdown. However, since I've gone back to work I've been wearing more makeup and in need of a new makeup bag. I love holographic material and this has such a gorgeous design.

- Talk To The Palm Cushion

I have a very cosy vibe in my bedroom and can't get enough cushions. I love the print and the quirky style of this cushion.

- Petrol Sequin Halter Top

Although parties are cancelled for while, (especially in greater Manchester where I live.)  This would be such a cute top to put away for a future occasion. Roll on summer 2021!

- Sparkle Mini Skirt

So as you can probably tell, I really, really like sequins. Only trouble is, you lose quite a lot of them on the dance floor on a night out. I think this will be another item that will sadly not get an outing until next summer. But it is so dreamy!

- Rainbow Makeup Brush Set

With wearing makeup more often, I need a full kit of brushes too. I love glitter so this kit looks perfect for me!

Lesbian 101: Managing a Long Distance Relationship

One of the biggest lesbian stereotypes is that we always get into long distance relationships. To be fair, we have a much smaller dating pool so long distance relationships are a lot more likely.

In September, my and my girlfriend Abbie will have been together for a year. However, we have spent four months apart. When we met Abbie was living in student accommodation in Manchester quite close to where I live, so we were regularly going on dates and I stayed over quite regularly. Abbie moved out of her student accommodation in March when the country went into lockdown, so since then we've been doing the long distance thing. At first, it was so difficult and I thought we would struggle as I'd been so used to seeing each other all the time and practically living together. Over the last four months, though, we have managed to maintain a happy and healthy relationship without seeing each other in the flesh.

- Remember that it's not forever
Think about the future. You won't be apart forever so look forward to when you can spend time together. If you're both isolating separately, remember that restrictions will soon be lifted and hopefully soon this pandemic will be over. At the start of lockdown, Abbie said to me, 'this isn't the end, it's just the beginning.' Ridiculously cheesy, but its true.

- Have a plan to see each other
I'm planning to get the train to Sheffield to see Abbie in a few weeks, which is always something to look forward to when I'm missing her.

- Check in with each other every day
You don't have to be in constant contact, but it's good to check in with each other at least once a day. I often work long hours and Abbie has football training several hours a week so we can't always have long conversation, however just checking how you partner is can go a long way.

- Zoom is your best friend
Sounds very obvious but it always cheers me up to see Abbie's face when we video chat. It gives me butterflies just as much as seeing her in real life (Aww)